Tag: communication

April 1, 2021

Keep Asking Why

When you heard about the tragic murders of Asians in Atlanta, did you ask why? When you watched videos of police brutality against Black Americans, did you ask why? When you learn about the violence and oppression of marginalized people in this country, do you ask why? 

Did you ask why or were you simply shocked and surprised? I hear people saying, “This is so surprising! I can’t believe it!” We need to believe it and we need to ask why. We need to educate ourselves and know our history. We need to stop being surprised and understand the systems. The reasons for something happening today are deeply connected to the past. It’s not about ‘having a bad day.’ If we don’t understand this, we can’t make a change.

What can schools do? 

Schools have a duty to teach students accurate history that holds many narratives, not just the narrative of the dominant people of the region.

March 19, 2021

Stay in the Discomfort

It is imperative that we stay in discomfort. Discomfort is a feeling of anxiety, uneasiness, and embarrassment. We must acknowledge this feeling and learn from it. Embracing discomfort is a form of compassion, learning, and honesty. Discomfort is a sign of something happening. Pay attention to the feeling. Do not fight it or feed it.

A recent article highlighted how the people who have historically experienced power, privilege, and comfort in independent school communities are now feeling uncomfortable with the way these schools are educating their kids. Independent schools, many of which are founded on serving and educating white males, are now serving very different communities. Schools need to change when their communities change. The curriculum needs to change. Approaches need to change. The distribution of resources needs to change and so much more.

What can schools do?

  • Schools need to move forward with their decisions and stay the course.
  • Stay in your discomfort as well.
March 3, 2021

Are You Listening?

An essential part of leadership and managing your direct reports is intentional listening. When you listen carefully to your people, you…

  • Learn about the person
  • Build trust with the person
  • Understand more about the content/issue/circumstance
  • Position yourself to collaborate and problem solve
  • Ask better questions that lead to uncovering the real problem
  • Respond instead of react 
  • Realize you might be wrong

These are just some of the advantages of intentional listening. 

Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, speaks about various types of approaches to communication in his conversation with Dan Harris on The Ten Percent Happier Podcast. Grant describes the preacher, the politician, the prosecutor, and the scientist. He defines the preacher mode as wanting to persuade because we have already found the truth, the politician is campaigning for approval, the prosecutor mode is about proving the other person wrong and the scientist has a curious approach and wants to learn. 

September 29, 2020

Challenging Conversations: An Opportunity, Not a Burden

The happenings of the world are causing increased anxiety in so many of us. Schools are creating plans, backup plans, and backup plans for those backup plans. The landscape of education has changed and so have the rhythms of the typical communication flow. Educators and administrators are overwhelmed with emails, texts, and zoom meetings in addition to all their regular daily work. Educators and leaders need to be more responsive, thoughtful, and empathic than ever before and simultaneously manage heightened communication both in volume, intensity, and urgency than ever. As remote learning, hybrid models, and all the procedures involved are new to families and schools, we all are experiencing shifting expectations and managing a lot of disappointment. We are having challenging conversations.

Challenging conversations in schools have many components: the emotions, the intentions, the actual matter to be discussed, the existing relationship amongst the people and of course the child at the center of the discussion.

September 14, 2020

Managing Communication Overload

Relationships are the most important part of schools whether remote or in person. Therefore, it is vital to keep on top of communications as a way to build responsive and trusting relationships, especially during these uncertain times. When a parent is struggling with supporting their child with remote learning and their communication to the school has not been answered within 24 hours, their trust in the school may dwindle and their anxiety may increase. If a teacher who is unsure about a tech issue on SeeSaw, does not hear back from the Tech Director right away, their ability to teach is compromised. All the inner workings of a classroom and a school are more transparent than ever as parents sit beside their children in the virtual classroom and listen in on their day. Parents are being asked to do more than ever to support their child’s learning. All this leads to more questions which lead to more emails and the dreaded ever-increasing red number next to the mail icon.

May 19, 2020

Truths or Contradictions

While reading Dare to Lead by Brené Brown,  I was struck by this idea that we can embrace seemingly opposing qualities to become daring leaders. Brown talks about having a strong back and soft front to be a daring leader. She goes on to say that you can stay grounded in your confidence, setting boundaries and stay vulnerable and curious at the same time. The idea of being strong and soft can seem like opposites or even contradictions. This idea of holding two opposite ideas together and both can be true and valid is so valuable not just to being a leader but also to being human.

More recently in my career, I have realized that you do not have to stick to the binary of certain qualities. You can be both strong and soft, tough and caring, scared and brave, structured and flexible. As a beginning teacher, I believed more so in the binary.