Tag: leadership

January 14, 2022

Self Care is Not Selfish

Self-care is not selfish. Growing up I learned a different message. As a child in an immigrant family, I was raised watching parents who worked tirelessly for the good of others, building and supporting our small but growing Sri Lankan community in New Jersey. My parents did not take time for haircuts, manicures, exercise, or even an indulgent moment with a hot cup of tea and a good movie was rare. When I was a young mom and teaching full time, the last thing I spent time and resources on was self-care. I hustled to do my best at my job and take care of my family. I did indulge in the occasional haircut, soaking in every moment of the luxurious hair wash and scalp massage. Although when I returned home, I worked extra hard to cook, clean, and spend time with my kids. I almost felt guilty for getting a haircut, for taking care of myself, and for having time alone.

December 21, 2021

Intention or Intuition?

Which is more helpful when making decisions, using your intuition, or grounding yourself in your intention? Let’s define intuition as your ‘gut’ feelings, which are usually based on your past experiences and personal values. Let’s define intention as your grounded purpose or mission. I believe intention can also have its roots in what you value. Which strategy do you use when making decisions, intuition or intention? Do you lean on your experiences and your gut feelings when making a decision? Do you ground yourself in your original purpose and mission when making a critical decision? For example, when it comes to hiring in schools, we often decide to go with our ‘gut‘ feelings about a candidate: intuition. Yet, when we take the time to have an intentional process that honors the mission and values of the school and takes into account possible biases, and includes multiple voices, we may find ourselves with the right candidate for the position. 

October 18, 2021

How Deep is Your Bench?

How deep is your bench? 

I am usually the last person to use a sports metaphor but it actually works well here. To have a deep bench means to have a significant number of effective people on your team. This is something you should evaluate intentionally and periodically. 

Having a strong team ensures better collaboration, decision-making, problem-solving, and ultimately better results. When you don’t have a strong team, you may find yourself trying to put out fires that others should be handling, not using your time effectively. 

First, evaluate your bench, your team.

These are some possible indicators that your bench needs some strengthening, 

  • Are you taking on too many tasks yourself?
  • Do you find your team members need your input on every decision they make?
  • Are you attending lots of meetings that you may not need to attend?
  • Do you have to be always present for efficient and effective work to be accomplished?
September 28, 2021

Modeling Leadership Style

What kind of leadership style are you modeling in your family? 

I grew up in a first-generation immigrant family. My father worked 6 days a week as a physician at a hospital, a clinic, and also running his own practice. He left early in the morning and returned late at night. The only day he was home was Sunday. On Sundays, he worked too but on home-related things: mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, changing the oil in the car. He was a hard worker who was dedicated to his profession and to his patients and was determined to create a certain life in a new country for his family. What did I learn from watching him? I learned to work hard all the time. I learned that you can achieve what you set out to with determination. I learned that it was important to do things yourself. I also learned difficult things, some of which I have had to unlearn.

August 2, 2021

Develop a Sense of Belonging

How can you develop a sense of belonging this year? As you prepare for students, families, faculty, and staff to return to campus, there is much to think about: maintaining health and safety, preparing facilities, gathering supplies, and so much more. When you welcome your community back to campus, remember an important part of your preparation: How will you develop a sense of belonging? 

Belonging, One of Our Basic Needs:

According to psychiatrist William Glasser, Belonging is one of our basic needs. He defines love and belonging as one of our essential psychological needs for seeking relationships, making connections, giving and receiving affection and feeling part of a group. Sebene Selassie, mindfulness expert and author of You Belong, describes belonging as coming from within a person and states that difference does not mean ‘not belonging.’ Selassie writes, “Difference” does not equal “not belonging,” but as many of us live farther away from our families and as we connect to multiple communities and cultures, our sense of belonging feels tenuous.”

May 26, 2021

Traditions

Traditions usually uphold our history and are connected to strong memories. They help us remember people, places, and events and have the opportunity to give us a sense of belonging and community. Traditions are familiar and can bring comfort, pointing to the passing of time. 

In schools, we have many traditions at this time of year: moving up ceremonies, graduations, retirements, and more. We celebrate the successes of our students, faculty, and staff while engaging in traditions and rituals to show the passing of time. This is yet another time of transition.

Should traditions change as our communities change? Many of our schools don’t look the way they did at their founding. This is a good thing. Change is essential. Sometimes there are opportunities to bring new life to long-standing traditions in a way that honors the past as well as acknowledges the present. How do we do this? We begin with reflection as these are big decisions.

April 29, 2021

Hope is a Plan!

Conventional wisdom says that hope is not a plan. I disagree. Hope is most definitely a plan. Cultivating hope is a skill that we need to practice and develop, and hope is especially needed when facing hardship. This is a time globally, locally, and in our workplaces of crisis. Hope has agency and purpose. It encourages a perspective that can help us see possibilities and choices. Hope, as a skill modeled by leadership, can lead to increased engagement and better health.

Look at the data and imagine an outcome. The data holds us in realism and the imagining helps us think broadly and deeply about ‘what if’. You have to see some evidence in your world to imagine the possibility. Dr. Jacqueline Mattis, a clinical psychologist from Rutgers University, encourages us to ‘read the room’ and read the past, putting the pieces together to make reasonable expectations in her conversation with Dan Harris on Ten Percent Happier.

February 3, 2021

Leaders: Inclusivity Matters

Inclusivity matters.

Do you have an inclusive workplace? 

Do your employees feel welcome each day? 

Do they have a sense of belonging in the community?

Inclusivity matters. When people don’t feel a sense of belonging, they feel excluded, their performance goes down, and it impacts their health and well-being. According to Professor Binna Kandola in his book, Free To Soar, Race and Well Being in Organisations, “A sense of belonging and inclusion in the workplace is vital for all employees’ well-being, yet the default state that minorities find themselves in is exclusion.”

The leader is the catalyst. They play a key role in creating an inclusive workplace. This intentional work can create more positive work environments for all employees and help typically marginalized employees feel included which can lead to better performance and increased health and well being. Think of your workplace as a classroom with you as the teacher.

January 20, 2021

Beginner’s Mindset in Leadership

The beginner’s mindset can be an essential tool when approaching leadership. What is the beginner’s mindset? When you approach leadership as a beginner, you see possibility and free yourself of imagined restrictions. You embrace the idea that you do not know everything. You show humility and listen intentionally to your collaborators. You see yourself as a learner and not solely as the holder of knowledge. You ask questions from a position of inquiry, rather than a position of certainty: I wonder, what if, how might we?

The beginner’s mindset invites a sense of wonder that we often see in our children. You look at things as though you are seeing them for the first time. This allows you to find inspiration and see the awe in the seemingly ordinary. 

The “I don’t know mind’ allows us to embrace being uncomfortable and the unknown. This year more than any other has taught us to expect the unexpected.

January 6, 2021

Making Resolutions or Setting Intentions?

The tragic events at the Capitol building in Washington D.C. further highlighted the rampant racism, injustices, and inequities that have plagued this nation. There are few moments in school leadership where there is absolute clarity of right and wrong. Now is the time to take a close look at who you are, your values, your aspirations, your hopes, dreams, and intentions. What you do and what you say matters and should be grounded in an understanding of our human interconnectedness. 

Every new year, we try in our personal and professional lives to start anew, making resolutions and promises to ourselves about how we will be different and who we will become. We make exercise and diet goals. We promise to spend more time with loved ones and be more productive and efficient at work. By February, we tire out and have dropped all resolve to accomplish our new tasks. What if instead of creating these long to-do lists each new year, we think of our intentions and start from there?