Tag: leadership

Understanding the Shadow Side of Your Strengths

Do you know the shadow side of your strengths?

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One of the most intriguing parts of learning about my strengths was also learning about the blind spots or as I like to think of them: the shadow side. As I read about the blind spots in my strengths report, I felt as though my husband and children wrote the statements because they are the people who know me best. The statements spoke the truth and were such keen observations. For example, discipline is one of my top ten strengths. I bring order to processes and see the details, I am prepared, and the shadow side or the barrier is that I tend to be rigid. My family knows my shadow side very well!

Paying attention to your strengths is important. Reflecting on what happens when we lean too far into those strengths without reflection is vital.

Leveraging Your Strengths

Leverage your strengths to discover your full potential.

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR on Unsplash

Leverage your strengths to discover your full potential. When I was new to teaching, I used to think of strengths and weaknesses as two different things on opposite sides and disconnected from one another. Your strengths were in one silo and your weaknesses in another. As I gained more experience in life and as a teacher, I realized that our strengths can be used to leverage our areas of growth. Strengths and areas of growth are connected. This helped me immensely as a teacher of young children. Working with a student’s strengths builds confidence,  a clear understanding of how they learn best, and a way to influence their areas of growth.

As a student this summer these ideas were reinforced when I completed my training as a Clifton Strengths Finder Coach. Before the course, I took the Clifton Strengths Assessment and learned about my top 10 strengths in depth.

Understand Your Power

Understand your power and influence.

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Teachers, coaches, and leaders understand your power and influence so that you can build the skills within your students, clients, and direct reports. In the first part of my teaching career, I did not truly understand or appreciate the power and influence I had over my students. Statements and comments I made to my students were taken as the honest truth and solid facts. Sure, I had to make things fun and engaging to keep their interest but what I said mattered and counted. My students were influenced by my words by the simple fact that I was their teacher. I held the most power in the room. It was up to me to set the tone for the classroom, help students feel safe and welcomed, and build a sense of belonging. When those basic needs were disrupted, I was the person with the power and ability to respond and make changes to bring our community back to safety and belonging.

Slow Down and Do More

Slow down and do more.

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR on Unsplash

Slow down and do more. You might think these two things don’t belong together. How do you work slower and do more? Would that work? I think so! 

As a younger parent working full time, I felt like I had to be rushing around all the time. I was often trying to do more than one thing at a time. Of course, now we all know there is no such thing as multitasking. Rather, you are just switching from one task to another and ultimately not doing any of it very well or faster. 

The first time I practiced mindfulness, I was trying to focus on one task with all my senses. I decided to focus on scrambling my eggs in the morning before work. I used all my senses and scrambled the eggs. Normally, I would try to check emails, make lunch, or something else on my to-do list while I made breakfast.

Creating a Culture of Belonging

I recently had the opportunity to attend a conference on Creating a Culture of Belonging in my role as a community trustee of The Presidio Hill School in San Francisco. I was excited to be invited as a member of the PHS cohort to attend this very important conference hosted by San Francisco Friends School and Pollyanna. Being a trustee at a school whose mission and vision I believe in as well as whose leader,  Lisa Jeli, is one I believe in is an honor and a privilege. The day was filled with learning, opportunity, moments of heartache, and moments of hope, all met with listening to understand and curiosity. 

Jamil Zaki, author of The War for Kindness, Building Empathy in a Fractured World and an associate professor of psychology at Stanford University was the keynote speaker. He spoke of many critical things related to empathy.

Broadening your Circle of Comfort

Have you ever tried to broaden your circle of comfort?

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Have you ever tried to broaden your circle of comfort? Did it feel risky? Scary? My very wise and thoughtful meditation teacher, Gayathri, recently spoke to our class about this idea of expanding your comfort zone. Somehow, this wording landed much better with me than the usual phrase of saying, ‘Take more risks.’ It felt more expansive and doable. It felt less scary. 

I am a person who generally enjoyed a small comfort zone for most of my life. I like structure, predictability, and daily routines which sometimes led me to have a small comfort zone and in turn, led me to see many things as full of risk. I have had many transitions in my adult life. In these transition times, I am often faced with a decision of whether to expand or contract my comfort zone.

Teacher, Coach, or Superhero?

When you were a child, did you think your favorite teacher was a kind of superhero?

Photo by Ali Kokab on Unsplash

I recently had the opportunity to serve as an alumni coachee at the Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute during the in-person institute held at Berkeley. When I took the certification course, it was completely online and I saw the talented and skilled faculty through my Zoom screen. When I arrived at the Berkeley Faculty Club on this very hot day in October, I saw some of the incredible faculty that taught me during my course. Benjamin was playing the piano. Jennie came over to give me a hug. I saw Doy and Praew in the distance. It felt like celebrity sightings! These were the skilled and thoughtful people who taught me so much and I was actually seeing them in real life. I was surprised by my reaction. I am an adult and know that these are real human beings even though I saw them only on Zoom.

Take What Works, Leave the Rest

Do you hear the opportunity in this phrase?

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Take what works and leave the rest. I have heard this expression a few times in various settings. At first, I thought, is this what you say when you don’t feel like completing something? When I was growing up in an immigrant family that came to the U.S. in the early 1970s, my dad would often hold us captive for his many lectures on life, hard work, and success. One of his frequent lines to us, especially if we complained about something school-related, was, “90% of life is doing what you don’t want to do.” So basically, get over it and just do it! Recently, my 24-year-old son was complaining about something at work and he said, “I know what you always say, 80 % of life is doing what you don’t want to do.” Hmmm. That did not sound like positive parenting when I heard it said back to me that way.

It’s Not About the Destination

It’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey.

Photo by Vlad Bagacian on Unsplash

I am sure you have heard these statements before. Recently, I was in a yoga class and the teacher said to lower your head towards the floor. Then he said, it’s not a destination, just think about how you might head that way. Hmm, I thought. This statement resonated with me. 

I used to function under the premise of working by setting a goal and achieving it. Then I would set a new goal and achieve that. Almost like jumping hurdles in a track race. I moved along in my career and in parenthood like that for many years. I would go through the routine for work and home day by day, accomplishing tasks and meeting goals.

FOCUS ON THE JOURNEY

Now further along in my career and in parenting with two children over twenty, I do things a bit differently.

Who Needs a Coach?

Everyone benefits from working with an effective coach. 

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Who needs a coach? Some folks think that the only people who need a coach are low performers who need a boost. I do not believe this is true. Everyone benefits from working with an effective coach. The coach guides you toward seeing all the power and wisdom you hold.

Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.

Pete Carroll

A few reasons to engage a coach:

  • You have a siloed job and need a person outside of the institution to connect and reflect with.
  • You are at a transition phase in your career. 
  • You are managing change in your institution.
  • You are new to your institution and you are adjusting to a new culture.