Tag: coaching

May 24, 2024

Understand Your Power

Understand your power and influence.

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Teachers, coaches, and leaders understand your power and influence so that you can build the skills within your students, clients, and direct reports. In the first part of my teaching career, I did not truly understand or appreciate the power and influence I had over my students. Statements and comments I made to my students were taken as the honest truth and solid facts. Sure, I had to make things fun and engaging to keep their interest but what I said mattered and counted. My students were influenced by my words by the simple fact that I was their teacher. I held the most power in the room. It was up to me to set the tone for the classroom, help students feel safe and welcomed, and build a sense of belonging. When those basic needs were disrupted, I was the person with the power and ability to respond and make changes to bring our community back to safety and belonging.

May 3, 2024

The Power of Reflection

Reflection is a powerful tool.

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Reflection is a powerful tool. It is the bridge between practice and growth and can lead to transformational change. Most of us live through our days barely stopping to think. I have discovered that I can practice endlessly at my craft to improve. Practice alone does not lead to transformative growth. Reflection serves as the bridge between practice and growth, not transactional growth but transformative growth.

Throughout my 30s and 40s, I functioned much like a robot going through the motions of work, taking care of kids, and then doing it all over the same watch day. Sometimes, I would not even remember the drive to work or home. I just knew I got there safely. 

I worked hard and practiced my craft daily but was going through the motions. I grew as an educator and became better at my job.

March 21, 2024

Standing Steady Between Praise or Blame

“When we find our center and our balance in the midst of these opposites…. we can find our ease and our freedom in the midst of these changing winds.”-Gayathri Narayanan

Photo by Jean-Pierre Brungs on Unsplash

What does standing steady between praise and blame mean to you? How do you respond to praise and blame? Do you crave and seek out praise? Do you resist, ignore, or avoid blame? As an educator and a school leader, I was told to develop a ‘thick skin’ or ‘armor’ when blame and negative comments came my way. Alternatively, I was told to soak in all the praise when it came my way. I was not standing steady between praise and blame. I was being pulled from one end to another, placing my value and worth on other people’s opinions. I have realized that may not be the way to go and there are other options.

January 18, 2024

Be a Human with a Human

Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash

I first heard this phrase when attending the ten-day intensive part of my executive coaching certification through Berkeley. “Be a human with a human.” noted one of the faculty coaches before they launched us into one of our first practicums where we coached a stranger in front of each other and received feedback. I was so nervous and was at the beginning of this journey, not feeling like I had the skills as yet to do a great job. A lot of self-doubt was creeping into my mind until I heard this phrase. Being a human with a human seemed doable to me. It was a reality that felt approachable, comfortable, and true. After all, we are just two human beings talking to each other. 

I saw the true expression of this phrase in a brilliant movie. Recently, I had the privilege to watch an early screening of Ava Duvernay’s new film, Origin, about the author Isabel Wilkerson’s journey to writing her book Caste while coping with personal loss.

October 6, 2023

Teacher, Coach, or Superhero?

When you were a child, did you think your favorite teacher was a kind of superhero?

Photo by Ali Kokab on Unsplash

I recently had the opportunity to serve as an alumni coachee at the Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute during the in-person institute held at Berkeley. When I took the certification course, it was completely online and I saw the talented and skilled faculty through my Zoom screen. When I arrived at the Berkeley Faculty Club on this very hot day in October, I saw some of the incredible faculty that taught me during my course. Benjamin was playing the piano. Jennie came over to give me a hug. I saw Doy and Praew in the distance. It felt like celebrity sightings! These were the skilled and thoughtful people who taught me so much and I was actually seeing them in real life. I was surprised by my reaction. I am an adult and know that these are real human beings even though I saw them only on Zoom.

August 25, 2023

It’s Not About the Destination

It’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey.

Photo by Vlad Bagacian on Unsplash

I am sure you have heard these statements before. Recently, I was in a yoga class and the teacher said to lower your head towards the floor. Then he said, it’s not a destination, just think about how you might head that way. Hmm, I thought. This statement resonated with me. 

I used to function under the premise of working by setting a goal and achieving it. Then I would set a new goal and achieve that. Almost like jumping hurdles in a track race. I moved along in my career and in parenthood like that for many years. I would go through the routine for work and home day by day, accomplishing tasks and meeting goals.

FOCUS ON THE JOURNEY

Now further along in my career and in parenting with two children over twenty, I do things a bit differently.

August 5, 2023

Who Needs a Coach?

Everyone benefits from working with an effective coach. 

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Who needs a coach? Some folks think that the only people who need a coach are low performers who need a boost. I do not believe this is true. Everyone benefits from working with an effective coach. The coach guides you toward seeing all the power and wisdom you hold.

Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.

Pete Carroll

A few reasons to engage a coach:

  • You have a siloed job and need a person outside of the institution to connect and reflect with.
  • You are at a transition phase in your career. 
  • You are managing change in your institution.
  • You are new to your institution and you are adjusting to a new culture. 
July 12, 2023

Exploring the Role of the Coach

“Over whose head is the thought bubble?”

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I have been exploring the role of the coach. I recently had the privilege of attending a truly transformative professional development opportunity, The Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute. This was an initial step towards my learning and developing skills to be a certified executive coach. The BECI faculty were skilled at modeling practices, building a safe space for risk-taking, and creating an engaging environment with a high level of interaction. Throughout the program, I had so many subtle and not-so-subtle shifts in my thinking. 

In exploring the role of the coach, one big shift I experienced was seeing the relationship between my background as an educator and executive coaching. In Miles Downey’s book, Modern Effective Coaching, he writes: “The coach’s responsibility, therefore, is not to teach but to facilitate learning.” I argue something slightly different.

December 9, 2022

What’s In a Question?

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A well-formed question can tell a lot about a candidate. “Asking good questions is the path to insightful learning,” wrote Adrian Gonzalez. One of the often overlooked items in a hiring process is the questions we ask candidates. Hiring season is fast approaching in schools. It’s time to prepare. Questions can tell us a lot about a candidate. If you ask the right questions, you can learn a lot about a candidate. Your questions also reveal a lot about your institution. Questions are just one very important data-gathering point of the hiring process. 

Steps to forming questions:

  • Be grounded in your school’s mission and strategic vision. Keep it at the forefront of your mind while forming your questions. Form questions that will grow your community.
  • Think about what qualities, skills, and understandings you are looking for in a candidate. 
  • Create questions that will uncover or gather data around these qualities, skills, and understandings.
April 8, 2022

One Set of Values is all You Need

I had to code-switch as a kid living in a Sri Lankan immigrant household and then going to a suburban predominantly white school in New Jersey.

On a daily basis, I switched who I was depending on where I was.

Do you have one set of values for how you show up at work and another for at home? Ideally, you should be able to be the same person at work as you are at home, with some small changes (maybe no pajamas at work). For some, this is a privilege that we do not even notice and for others, it may feel like a luxury. In fact, we all should be able to show up with one set of values that is true for us in both settings. 

The Importance of Values

When I begin coaching a new client, we often work through a values exercise. We use a list of values and narrow our way through to the few values that are most meaningful for the client.