Stillness Leads to Opportunities

I see choices and possibilities when I slow down.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez ???????? on Unsplash

I have learned that there is a strong connection between having a stillness practice and the ability to see opportunities and choices before me. When I was new to leadership and to parenting, I felt that I had to have all the answers and fix all the problems. I was always on the move, putting out fires at work and at home. I only stopped when I slept. I would fall into a deep sleep each night as my head hit the pillow and awake each morning to my alarm as thinking I just went to bed. Those of you of a certain age may remember the phrase for the Dunkin’ Donut commercials that the weary donut baker said each dark morning as he started baking day after day: “It’s time to make the donuts.” This is what my life felt like for decades! I want to clarify that there were many moments of joy and happiness over these years, and a strong sense of accomplishment. Now, as I look back, there was something missing, an ability to be still and reflect and see choices.

Time for Reflection

Now in my mid 50’s, a bit older and wiser and kids mostly launched, I practice meditation and yoga, and have time and energy to reflect. I see the impact of these stillness practices now. I see that value in slowing down. The quality and intention in my work and relationships is better when I slow down. I am able to expand the time and space between thoughts and actions. This allows me to see choices and possibilities I may not have seen in an instant. There is great benefit to this. 

Go Slow Go Better

As a younger person, I was so focused on speed, response time, and multi-tasking (which we now know is just doing multiple things poorly), and I took pride in my skills in these areas both as a parent and a leader. I was the creator of effective systems and routines! I got everything done and on time. I did not see any other way to do things and still survive this busy and unrelenting time of life. I did not notice that I could actually deliver better results in my work and relationships if I slowed down and became more intentional. I was rewarded for delivering quickly and efficiently, so I kept doing things the same way at work and at home and did not consider alternatives. I became rigid and less flexible in my thinking. This kept me from seeing alternative paths, taking risks, and seeing the potential in those around me. 

As I developed the ability to slow down, be thoughtful, and be more intentional, I saw enormous and valuable benefits. Below are just a few of the benefits I have found of slowing down. 

The Benefits of Slowing Down

• I feel more empathy and compassion in my responses to and interactions with others.
• I see more than one option to a problem.
• I am more able to prioritize issues that come my way, delegate, and even sometimes let go.
• I am more able to embrace others’ viewpoints and release judgmental thoughts. They still come but I can be more aware of them and release them sooner.
• I rest more fully.

Some of the practices I use to slow down:

• Daily meditation (start small and in short increments, try not to judge yourself as thoughts keep racing, this is part of the practice)
• Becoming more aware of my breathing throughout the day. I try to pay attention to my breath at various times of the day. Is it quick and erratic when I am tense? Can I slow it down then? Is it slow and easy when I am on a walk? I am building awareness.
• Building a practice in yoga. I am developing a practice in mostly gentle yoga focused on balance, stability, and strength. This allows me to focus on the mind and body connection. 
• I go for walks outside. I did not take a walk for decades unless I was taking my kids ot the park nearby but we usually drove. Now, I walk alone or with my dogs trying to take in and notice who and what is around me. Trying to be more present.

Now, all this took time and lots of it. I started very small with one thing at a time and in small increments. Stillness and mindfulness are practices that build awareness. I had to reflect on my interactions and their impacts. I had to be truthful with myself in these reflections. I am still working on all this, but I feel much growth and with it freedom. What is your stillness practice, and how does it benefit you?