Are You Postponing Joy?
How are you getting in the way of feeling joy?
Photo by Rhendi Rukmana on Unsplash
Are you postponing joy? I had not thought of this concept until a recent group meditation session with my meditation teacher, Gayathri Narayanan. Gayathri introduced me to the idea that I could be postponing joy. I could be putting obstacles or barriers between myself and joyful moments. So, if I am putting those barriers in, I could also remove them to create less distance between joy and myself.
Thoughts as Barriers to Joy
I reflected on how I might be delaying joy in my own life. I recently found out I am likely moving again in a year’s time. Of course, I instantly started having thoughts: planning logistics, wondering, worrying. These thoughts led to sleepless nights and bad dreams. This is just what my mind does when I know change is afoot. It’s my routine. It’s not a pleasant one and not a helpful one.
When I thought further about these thought patterns I realized they are barriers, that I am creating. These thoughts were getting in the way of my feeling joy. Eckhart Tolle, author and spiritual teacher, talks about how we tend to overthink and create unnecessary and sometimes non-existent problems and this generates unnecessary unhappiness. He goes on to say that people often don’t realize that a lot of our unhappiness is created by “unnecessary, negative, destructive mind activity.”
An Invitation: Don’t Pick It up
I tried something different. When the thoughts came up, as they do, I noticed them and the pattern. In some sense, I welcomed them instead of trying to ignore them or weave them into a cotton candy spiral of worry. I used a phrase that Gayathri taught me: ‘Don’t pick it up.’ I decided not to pick up this thought pattern and tried not to continue in this negative spiral. Now, the thoughts didn’t magically disappear. They still come up. Now though, I notice the pattern and the spiral is much shorter. I am better at ‘not picking it up.’ I feel more empowered and see options that I did not before, both in my thinking in the moment and in this impending move. I feel less of a sense of ‘all or nothing’ and I see more opportunities that could work.
Ultimately, I feel a bit closer to appreciating the joyful moments. Instead of being in my head with negative thought patterns, I am more able to notice things in the present and appreciate them, small things like the blue sky during a walk, my dogs playing together, or a piping hot cup of tea in the afternoon. In the past, I often missed these things when I was lost in my thoughts about the past or the future. I still do. This takes a lot of practice and the thoughts will come and that acceptance is part of the practice. Noticing and deciding when to ‘not pick it up’ has been a helpful strategy for being in the present moment as it truly is. I realize I have a choice to invite joy rather than distance it.
