Are You Getting in Your Own Way?
Are you standing on the hose and wondering why the water is not coming out?
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash
How are you getting in your own way and maybe not even realizing it? My yoga teacher mentioned this image of standing on the hose and looking around wondering why the water isn’t coming out. This was a good visual for me. I often do this! I wonder what’s going wrong, who is making things go wrong, and I forget to take into consideration that I might be impacting the situation. I remind myself to pause and think about where I had impact in the situation. It’s not about blame necessarily. Rather, it is about noticing where I can create a different impact. Pausing and reflecting helps me realize where I can possibly change or do something different next time. I raise my awareness of my role and actions. After all, I can’t change what others do but I can manage my own choices. These are some steps that help me figure out when I am stepping on the hose.
Stop and look around.
Pause. Breathe. What do I notice?
Raising awareness.
Notice what happened. Notice if I had a response in my body, a somatic response. Did my shoulders go up, body temperature increase, heart rate increase, etc.? What is my body trying to tell me?
Reflect.
Where and when did things shift or go in a direction I did not intend or foresee?
Examine your choices.
What choices did I make that might have impacted the result?
Make a choice.
Is there something here within my influence, within my control, or out of my control? Once I make this determination, I can decide how much energy to devote to the issue. If it’s not in my control, I may want to apply less energy. If it is under my control or influence, I might want to apply some energy here.
Reflect again.
What if anything do I want to do about the issue?
Make a subtle shift.
What might I do differently next time to get a different or more desired result? It can be something small.
When I can stop and think about where I had influence and/or control in a situation, then I can consider ways to shift and change. Usually, the first thing that is visible in a situation is where others went wrong. Our lens tends to look outwards. It is important to see all players and their impacts in a situation. Yet, if we stay in a place of solely looking outwards and not looking at our possible impacts, we may feel less empowered and unable to see possible change. Reflecting on our own actions and impact gives us agency to change or repeat something that works. This is another version of practice, reflect, and improve. Try it and see what happens!
